I Dream of Dying in Tibet
(by Piali Banerjee | Times of India | March 16, 2003)
During his childhood, whenever little Tenzin Tsundue asked his mother about his birthday, she would reply, "Who had time to record a child's birth when everyone was homeless, hungry and tired, moving from one refugee camp to another?"
The upshot wasn't only that little Tsundue grew up without celebrating his birthday (that too), but that he grew up resenting this makeshift life. He grew up hating the thought that while everyone else in the world had roots, he was only a Rangzen.
Rangzen, in Tibetan, means 'refugee'. Now, after all these years, this Tibetan activist-poet still introduces himself as a refugee. "I don't want a house in India and I haven't been able to find a comfortable enough table to write on in India," says Tsundue, who's in Mumbai to rally support for the cause of Tibetan freedom.
"I'm constantly looking for home, for peace. Perhaps I'll find both only in a free Tibet. Today I have no home, no job, no belongings in India, so I'm ready to go any time. I'm only a refugee here."
In his flamboyant style, this frail little man (who had scaled 14 floors of scaffolding at Oberoi Hotel in Mumbai last year to try and talk to visiting Chinese premier Zhu Rongji) has a red bandana tied permanently on his head as a mark of protest.
"I'll take it off when Tibet gets freedom," he says. Tsundue works with 'Friends of Tibet', an association that is trying to unify the 1.2 lakh Tibetans in exile in India for the freedom struggle.
"The danger lies in Tibetans getting settled in exile," he says. "Today, many Tibetans are passive, content to move from one refugee camp to another, earning two meals a day. However, there are many others who still dream of their homeland. We're trying to gather a group of such Tibetans, after which we'll consider our next step. Sometimes we get people who have just arrived from Tibet, to the refugee camps, so that they can relate their experiences of suffering to fellow Tibetans in India."
He believes that it's up to young Tibetans to work towards freedom. "The older generation is helpless.My parents,who live in a refugee camp in Karnataka, can't even make a phone call properly," he says. "How can they fight for freedom? They can only pray. Today, the Dalai Lama is seeking autonomy from the Chinese, but we youngsters want independence."
Tsundue, the poet and writer-and winner of the 2001 Picador award for non-fiction for his moving essay, 'My kind of exile'-communicates with youngsters through his writing. His books of poetry, Crossing The Border and the newly released Kora, describe the experiences of Tibetan refugees.
He hands out photocopies of these poems to all Tibetans. "I am Tibetan," he writes. "But I am not from Tibet. Never been there. Yet I dream of dying there."
He did go to Tibet once. Six years ago, he simply walked into his homeland one day from Ladakh. Whatever possessed him to do that? "I was young, romantic, I had given up India and I wanted to live in Tibet," he replies. "But romantic ideas don't last. I miscalculated my timing and couldn't meet the people I had arranged to meet across the border."
Tsundue kept going for four days, after which he was caught by the Chinese border police and imprisoned and interrogated for three months, before being returned to India. "In the prison at Lhasa, I met a youngster who was arrested for putting up posters of 'Free Tibet'," he recalls.
"It was an exhilarating experience. We were both Tibetans of the same generation, with different backgrounds but the same purpose. He was born in Tibet, had never seen the Dalai Lama and was hoping for His Holiness' return to a free Tibet. I was born in India, had never seen Tibet and was hoping to return to a free Tibet."
Tsundue claims that his writing is his need to "exhale from within". "Writing isn't part of my love for Tibet," he says. "I end up writing about Tibet only because I'm preoccupied with it.Now I'm writing a book of stories on Tibetan refugee life."
Is there no other subject that he would like to 'exhale from within'? "Well, I did try to write love poems, but they failed badly," he replies with a smile.
Friends of Tibet (INDIA),
PO Box 16674, Bombay 400050
www.friendsoftibet.org